i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
