I looked at my own cervix.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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