she looked like the bat from fern gully.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
soo... how was my night?
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