We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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