Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
