I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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