do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
