every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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