Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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