Need sex. Gaining weight.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
