tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
