My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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