HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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