My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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