from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
