i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
