loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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