I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
