There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
