There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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