I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize