Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize