Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
