dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
