It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
