haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
