so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Who died my cat blue again?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
