My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
