Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
