i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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