Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
