OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There r osticjed everywhere
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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