We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
