My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
