The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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