3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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