Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
