Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
