Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
