know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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