Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think I just sharted jello shots
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