Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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