1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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