New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
