The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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