i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
