If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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