as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
