If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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