Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize