Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
