I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
how does that bad decision feel?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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