i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
