I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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