Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Be still, my beating vagina.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
