Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
