Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
