listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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