So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
