ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
