i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
