I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
